


Kiss Goodbye

by LuciaWilt



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 21:22:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19384900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciaWilt/pseuds/LuciaWilt
Summary: Yet in that exact same breath, Loki, if he could, would kiss the ground Thor walked on. It was like he was just a planet revolving around a star. Thor’s magnificence was mind numbing to Loki. When his brother was around, Loki just turned into a blubbering mess.





	Kiss Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone on twitter was like, "Endgame Thor with Thor 1 Loki" and I got inspired. 
> 
> [ Music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwQOgUKLPdM&list=PLSE-TM5g393QfScrxsZxmk6IxK2vuFIxE&index=44)
> 
>  
> 
> [ Loki Inspiration ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181844609@N08/48139391623/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
>  
> 
> [ Thor Inspiration ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181844609@N08/48139403598/in/dateposted-public/)

Loki was nothing if not a doting and caring younger brother. He loved Thor. He ADORED Thor. And when his older brother was gone, well, it hurt him deeply; even if it was just a hunt or a mission out of the realm. Loki being as young as he was; well he still could not go with Thor and his friends. The jealousy that ate and bit at the youngest prince was as green as his wonderful abilities. All he wanted was to be with his older brother. But alas, both Frigga and Odin denied him such a thing. Plus, his older brothers’ idiotic friends…no. No they were not idiotic. Loki bit back the feeling of shame in his throat as he continued down the hallway. His brothers’ friends were intelligent fighters; all brilliant warriors in their own right. 

It was the jealousy that raged on inside of Loki; though he often did hear Volstagg, Sif, and Fandral speaking harshly about Loki when they definitely thought he could not hear them. Hogun was the only one of them Loki could often bare to be around. It was probably because the man was silent. Never the less, those four could sway Thor’s decisions and when they said Loki in all of his “youthful innocence” was not ready for their trip, Thor sequestered his younger brother in the castle and ran off to the Bifrost. When Loki finally escaped from the room, from the lock Thor had placed on Loki’s movements, they were all gone. 

If Loki cried in an alcove in one of the grand hallways around the palace; well, no one would need to know. 

Alas he could not wait around until Thor and the others returned from their trip. Loki had studies he needed to finish and that’s what he would do. 

So the young prince headed towards the gardens where he would do much of his meditation. It was the most peaceful part of the palace, even more so than the libraries Loki would often lock himself up in. At this time of the day, with the sun high in the sky and the wind barely whispering through the trees, most would either be at the training grounds or out about town. That would give Loki most of the privacy he would need. Plus dressed in his usual dark attire of leathers and heavy tunics; well, very few would expect him to be going out into the humid gardens. 

It was just unfortunate that he knew in his heart of hearts, that all he would be thinking about during his time meditating, was Thor. It was all Loki ever thought about. He loved his older brother; worshiped and damned his older brother in equal parts. One because Thor was everything Loki wished he himself could be. Growing up in Asgard as he did, Loki always felt the outsider. He was thin and svelte. His dark hair and pale skin was a far cry from Thor’s large golden aura. His abilities were powerful, probably to grow even stronger than his mothers, but it would never compare to Thor’s might and physical brutality. 

Yet in that exact same breath, Loki, if he could, would kiss the ground Thor walked on. It was like he was just a planet revolving around a star. Thor’s magnificence was mind numbing to Loki. When his brother was around, Loki just turned into a blubbering mess half the time. 

It seemed, though, that he would not be doing any meditation that day. He was passing one of the many alcoves in the great hallways when his back slammed against the wall and almost all the light was blotted out. A giant figure was pressed up against him; well, giant compared to Loki. He was growing into a lanky young man but many warriors still towered over him with both their height and their girth. A rough and calloused hand gripped his mouth as Loki let out a little yelp; and when his arms moved out to start thrashing, the body had him pinned completely. Whoever it was pressed their chest as close to Loki as they could get so he could not see anyone’s face. He felt his heart beating rapidly and apparently the man, it was a man, could feel it as well. “Do not be afraid young Prince Loki. I am not here to harm you.” That voice. It sounded so familiar yet Loki could not place it. It was rough and deep and scratchy. Yet it was also warm and…and so safe. 

Long blond hair tickled Loki’s face; and he could tell it was from both a beard and the top of the man’s scalp. “I must ask you to close your eyes though.”

Loki had no idea why, but he did as the man asked, casting his world into further darkness. 

Well at least the day would be interesting. 

~’~

Thor knew what they had told him. He understood, and it was not as though he was a fool himself. Honestly, he was probably smarter than Stark and Banner combined. 

Yet his heart would often win out. And that’s what happened when he was walking through the long hallways of his old home; still gloriously intact and standing proud. When his eye spotted a familiar lithe dark green form; well what Tony and the others did not know would not hurt them. 

Anyways they had only said do not run into your past self. 

They never said anything about not running into Loki’s young self. Plus knowing how intelligent and quick the young prince was; he would do what was right even if Thor could not control his old sentimental self. 

He acted on an impulse, pushing Loki’s sweet little form against the wall. He could hear Rabbit squeaking behind him about one thing or the other, saying they need to get going. Thor could not care less though. 

Loki was here and alive, breathing into Thor’s palm. Thor made sure at least to keep Loki so close he could not see who it was that held him. But Norns was he so beautiful. It was so long ago that Loki looked so soft; so sweet. As much as Thor wanted to look at Loki’s face, to see those big green eyes; he held himself back, telling his younger brother to not look. 

“Trust me Prince Loki.” Thor whispered into the crown of Loki’s dark hair. He was small enough to fit so securely there, tucked away between Thor and the wall. No one would be able to see Loki from the hallway. “But I must know something; where is Prince Thor?” He just wanted to make extra sure that he did not run in with his younger counterpart. 

For a moment, Loki was silent and then Thor remembered he still had his hand over Loki’s mouth; the tiny puffs of air from his nose hitting the side of Thor’s palm. “If I release my hand, you will not scream; correct?” He asked and knew already the answer. But he let Loki hesitantly nod. “And you will keep your eyes closed? I will not hurt any Asgardian Prince Loki, you have my word.” Again, Rabbit was whispering something beside Thor but he simply ignored him. Loki’s nod gave Thor all he needed to pull his hand away. 

He leaned back just a touch as well, allowing Loki to take a deep breath; that and to allow himself to gaze upon Loki’s soft features. Norns how old was he here? He barely looked old enough to wield a bow in an official manner. The aging of Asgardians was odd, but a physical human equivalent had to be something like 17 years old. 

Add on the giant bulk Thor had put on in the past years? Loki looked absolutely tiny compared to him; so tiny and clean and put together. 

“I…my brother is out of the realm.” Loki said and Thor had to hold back a sob. Even his voice sounded so sweet, still so youthful. Thor now could remember that it was the last thing to hit “adulthood”; Loki’s voice that is. “I am sorry that I could not help you more.” He whispered. 

“It’s ok kid, we needed to make sure he was out of the castle anyways.” Rabbit said and Thor immediately regretted it. Loki’s tenseness and jumping brought him tight against the wall and Thor pressed himself close again. 

“I was unaware you had an…ally sir.”

“Rabbit. I told you to keep your mouth shut.” 

But it seemed as though the small creature was done with waiting. “And I told you we were on a mission.” 

The body in front of Thor shifted and went silent, relaxing before he spoke. “I promise I will not look up, but may I see your ally sir?” The way Loki called Thor sir; he felt a heat bloom in his stomach. Yes this Loki still sought out authority, still saw Thor and others as above him. That same heat he felt was twisted with guilt but he allowed it none the less; taking just the tiniest step back as Loki looked down.

~’~

Loki took a deep breath before he let his eyes flutter open slowly; still feeling the large body in front of him. The shape of the man, it nearly reminded him of Volstagg, but he knew better. There was no way Volstagg could make him feel like this. When he looked at his ally, he blinked in surprise. 

It was a small animal, a racoon from what appeared to be Midgard, walking upright and dressed in a small set of clothes. He twisted his little animal nose up before evening his expression out. “Oh.” That was all Loki himself could say before the animal spoke. 

“Dude you didn’t tell me your brother was so pretty.” 

Wait. 

The animals words were slow to process in Loki’s mind. He blinked a few times before it finally hit him; turning his face to look up at the man that stood before him. However he clearly anticipated Loki’s movements for that same calloused hand was now over Loki’s eyes and that large chest pressed Loki back against the wall. His face was pushed into the man’s chest. “Rabbit.” It was a growl but Loki knew the truth in that moment. 

That’s why he seemed so familiar. That’s why Loki had felt so comfortable. He pushed and twisted his face in attempt to be free. It was getting so frustrating he felt tears collect in the corners of his eyes and stain against the calloused skin. That apparently was enough to startle this version of Thor; whoever he was, for he allowed his hand to relax and the fingers moved. 

And they moved enough that Loki’s eyes could peer through them, still dripping tears from everything that was going on. 

But he could see Thor, yes it was Thor, standing before him; so magnificent and big, golden and blazing. 

There was a sense of weariness on Thor’s face now that he saw he had been caught. This Thor was older, much older; bulkier but no less stunning. It took Loki’s breath away and he felt more tears well up. “Shit he really is pretty, even when he cries.” Loki heard the racoon say beside Thor. 

Then Thor was pulling away from Loki. 

The young Prince became frantic. “No! No where are you going? Why are you here! What is happening? Thor!” He gasped and reached for Thor’s hand as he turned to leave with his little animal friend. Loki did catch Thor’s sleeve and was able to stop him but only long enough for his older brother to give him a sad look. “Thor no. Take me with you.” Loki had no idea where these words were coming from; where these ideas came crawling out of. It just could not stop. “I can go with you. I can help I swear. Just don’t leave me.” He sobbed, reaching up and grabbing at his neck. He had been doing that recently, a new nervous tick of sorts. 

Apparently it was unnerving enough for this Thor. He grabbed Loki’s hand in his; so big and calloused from war and life. Loki stared at their hands intertwined. His fingers looked so delicate, like glass. When he looked back up at Thor, his older brother was tearing up as well; surely because Loki was sobbing at this point. “Please.” 

But Thor, oh his beautiful big brother Thor, just shook his head like it was the hardest thing in his life to do. “I cannot let you around him again. It is far too dangerous. You must know that all I would ever want is to take you with me. I miss you so damn much Loki.” The way he talked; Loki noticed, was slightly off. The cadence was strange, but he knew this was his Thor. 

Just like old times, Thor cupped the back of Loki’s neck and pulled him closer. This proximity, Loki could see his reflection in Thor’s mismatched eyes. What in Hel’s name had happened to his beautiful and powerful older brother? He gasped out another sob, to start saying he could still go with him; but Loki was cut off. 

Thor’s lips were surprisingly soft against his though his long and unmanaged beard scratched against Loki’s clear and soft skin. 

Just as quickly as the kiss started, with Loki moving up on his toes to continue it, Thor was pulling away, whispering words Loki could barely understand against his skin. It did not stop the tears. If anything, it made Loki sob harder as Thor and the animal rushed off. All Loki could see was a blurry image of the two running down the hall as he fell to his knees; sobbing and sobbing and sobbing. Before long, he sobbed himself out, passing off into unconsciousness on the ground only to be found hours later by the guards who said he had been speaking in his sleep. 

He had been pleading and begging for Prince Thor to come back. 


End file.
